My name is Zakira. I am 22 years old. I have a perfect and happy life. I have parents, a brother and a beautiful young sister. Both are younger than me. My father and brother work. They earn 18000 rupees per month. We pay 7000 rupees rent and around 1200 rupees utility per month. Although food in not included, we manage it one‐way or other. We all live in a small home.
On 7th June 2013, I got engaged to a handsome boy, Suleman. He also works and is from a very good family. Although he is a very good person and a perfect match, but I do not want to get married to him any more. Not because I don’t love him but because I am on deathbed. Both of my kidneys are failed. I am in constant pain since August 2012. I have two cannulas that are attached to both arms, permanently. I need 3 dialyses each week. Doctor says I don’t have much time unless I have a new kidney. Both parents are diabetic and my siblings are very young to be a donor. Our monthly income is 18000 rupees and out goings are 16000 rupees per month. Although costs of my dialyses, 4660 rupees, are partially paid by donors, my family still finds it difficult to pay even 660 rupees each dialysis. My family have sold most of our belongings to buy few months of life for me. We don’t have anything left so I am counting my days. My father sometime cry at night when I pretended to be sleeping. I see my mother don’t smile any more. My siblings don’t fight with me either. I think they are preparing themselves.
I have another issue, my fiancé. He does not leave me alone. I have tried everything. I have also refused to see him but he stands outside my home for hours. He does not understand that I cannot give him anything. I want to keep my distance. I want to go far away from everyone, including my fiancé. I don’t want to be in pain when I am leaving the world. I am writing this letter in the hope that someone please looks after my mummy, daddy, my brother and my sister when I am gone. I know they will be sad and this will make it more difficult for me.
THANK YOU FOR READING AND GOD BLESS YOU!
(Written By Zakira)
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